Kurt Cobain suicide note

The Kurt Cobain suicide note was found near Kurt's body in the greenhouse of his Seattle home on Friday, April 8, 1994, at the same time his body was discovered. Kurt had carefully positioned the note so that it could be easily found by staking it to the top of a pile of potting soil.

The Kurt Cobain suicide note tells us a lot about bipolar suicides and also symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Now I know many fans reject the notion that Kurt had bipolar disorder symptoms. This is not intended to dishonor his memory but to share info on bipolar disorder that may help others.

In particular, it is important to consider things like the complexities of dual diagnosis where there is substance abuse as well as psychological issues.

Drug rehab facilities were especially unsuccessful for him, so perhaps Kurt would have been better off in a bipolar treatment center as opposed to the drug rehab centers he kept trying.

The Kurt Cobain suicide note does shed light on Kurt's manic depression. It is a chilling example of multiple acute bipolar suicide risk factors, with almost no preventative factors present.

Let me explain . . .

Text of Kurt's suicide note

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. (Throughout the Kurt Cobain suicide note this is a recurring theme. Loss of pleasure in normally pleasurable events is a common and acute suicide risk factor.)

(Another theme throughout the note is the sense of loss - again this is a very typical and serious predictor of bipolar suicide.)

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. (Also typical are feelings of fear and anticipated loss. Kurt's anxiety and agitation are palpable. What suicidal people want is not death but escape from pain, and Kurt was agonized with anticipatory concerns for his daughter.)

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! (Kurt was not taking a mood stabilizer such as lithium and thus had no protection from mood swings or chronic depressive despair. Self-medicating as Kurt did just made things worse, with substance abuse being yet another of the acute risk factors.) I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain

Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.(This is the one place in the Kurt Cobain suicide note where there is any sign of a preventative factor. Having a child and concern for family is one of the known suicide inhibitors, but it seems Kurt is overwhelmed by the final risk factor - delusional guilt.)

For her life, which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

Picture of the Kurt Cobain Suicide Note

Want to know more?

This fan page has a copy of Kurt's death certificate and links to Nirvana lyrics and a photo gallery. The Wikipedia article on Kurt discusses the whole suicide/murder conspiracy debate. To my mind this is drivel and it is a scandal that this is given so much space when there is no mention of Kurt's mental health. You can also check out my Squidoo Lens on the Kurt Cobain suicide note.

Again, if you are doubtful about whether Kurt displayed symptoms of bipolar disorder, I understand. However, there is a strong family history. Again, consider the possibility that a bipolar treatment center or dual diagnosis facility may have helped Kurt, instead of the drug rehab centers he kept running away from!

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