The Perfect Position

by TW
(Harvey, IL, USA)

Imagine opening up the classifieds of the local Sunday newspaper to find that there is an opening for the exact job that you have been searching for. Your eyes bulge as you explore the requirements hoping to meet them. Once you figure out that your profile fits what they’re looking for, you immediately rush to the computer to complete the application hoping to be the first interviewed.

As you began to fill it out, a smile comes across your face because you actually have a chance at receiving a callback. You realize that receiving a position at this prestigious company can not only mean a new career but a new you. All of a sudden, fantasizing about your new life comes to a halt as you notice the end of the application; the personal reference section.

Now, to a normal person, this is the section that shows the employer what a great benefit you would be to the team. It gives your mentor an opportunity to tell how impressed and proud of the person you are. To explain to the organization how responsible and loyal as well as enthusiastic and prompt you can be. For the normal person the reference section is the icing on the cake; but you aren’t the norm.

See, you are like the other five million people in the United States living with a mental illness. Yours, which is Bipolar, seems to hinder any of the interpersonal relationships that you have ever had.

After the fantasy has completely faded and reality has set in, you think of the few people that some how managed to stay in your life through your journey of finding out about this illness. The first is a fail because your mother can’t be counted as a reference. The second is your pastor. That seems like a good idea because your mood seem to be calm around him, not counting the countless amount of times he has prayed the depression away. While putting the pastor’s information in, you remember your old college buddy that was your partner in crime. You remember that he owes you a favor from back in the day. Hoping that the old buddy won’t tell the employer how many times he had to remind you of when your assignment was due or explaining exactly why you aren’t reliable, you put the name down any way. Only one more reference and you’re set. It can’t be your old co-workers because they still remember the great blow out that you had at the office the day you didn’t get the numbers in on time. They still look at you side ways when they see you in public. You could put down your ex but she’ll bring up the constant arguments about nothing followed by the dramatic outburst of tears. That won’t be great for the team to know you’re a tear jerker.

About this time paranoia has set in because you’re thinking that maybe you are not the best candidate for the job. There’s somebody that is more emotionally stable than you are. You should just not even submit this application because it makes you feel more vulnerable than you were before you were diagnosed.

You take a deep breathe pause and it hits you. You have been diagnosed. You know what you have, you have gotten the help that is needed and you are in control. You can handle this because you know how to cope with it. Feeling confident in the person you have become since being diagnosed, Mr. Smith comes to mind. He is the care manager who has been guiding you for the past two years. He has seen the person that you are and can make the perfect reference. As his name goes on the application your smile eases back on to your face as you take the first step in creating your new life.