Bipolar infidelity

///Bipolar infidelity

Bipolar infidelity is a common – and tragic – consequence of mania and hypersexuality. NOW is the time to discover the facts and avoid the pitfalls.

In this section we will discuss infidelity causes, cures, and some sad and scary statistics.

This one of the most common but most taboo bipolar symptoms.

This is a page I have wanted to write for a long time because it is SUCH an important topic, and because it is the issue I get the most questions and requests about.

However, it is a difficult subject for me personally because this was the main way my bipolar symptoms became obvious, and my most serious manic episode manifested.

Sadly, too few people yet realize bipolar cheating is one of the most typical bipolar symptoms of all.

My
own bipolar infidelity destroyed my relationship, my finances, my
self-respect, my happiness, my peace of mind, and my entire sense of
self, so I hope there will be readers who can benefit from my mistakes.

This may be an especially hard issue to struggle with for the Bipolar Christian.

Causes and cures

There are many reasons for infidelity within a marriage or other committed and supposedly monogamous relationship.

Reminder

Bipolar infidelity is fueled by bipolar mania, especially in people who have not been diagnosed yet.

However, the focus here is on BIPOLAR infidelity.

There is no way an outsider can shed light on other issues within your relationship. Assuming the situation is one of bipolar symptoms and textbook bipolar infidelity, there is one cause and one cure.

Note: At this point you may want to learn about the causes of bipolar disorder.

The cause is the hypersexuality, impaired judgement, poor impulse control, and grandiosity – scary bipolar symptoms – all brought on by mania. The cure is to stabilize the bipolar spouse and stop the mania – invariably this is best done with a proven mood stabilizer such as lithium.

In this sense, there is nothing personal about bipolar infidelity. Of course it does not feel that way, especially if sexual cheating has been accompanied by emotional withdrawal and/or irritability. However this behavior is a bipolar symptom and is also generally part of the mania – or the hypomania – infidelity is an issue for Bipolar Type I AND Bipolar Type 2.

Bipolar symptoms are not always personal

I know this is a difficult concept – how ridiculous to say that this most personal and intimate of betrayals is “nothing personal”. I am not asking you to not react, or to not feel all the hurt and anger that infidelity creates. In order to understand things though, and in order to improve the situation, you must try to engage a more detached and rational side of yourself. try, if possible, to separate your unfaithful partner as a person from their manic behavior.

Sometimes “hate the sin, love the sinner” is too much to ask and it is not possible to forgive the cheating. Nobody else can decide this for you – but I do know that regardless of whether or not you stay in the relationship, you will feel much better if you can understand this central point – a bipolar person cheats in the grip of mania – it is the illness in one of its ugliest manifestations. It would not have happened if your partner had been well and stable. It is a symptom of the disease – unfortunately quite a common one.

The decision to forgive will require you to have important information so you can decide how much of it was “mania” and how much of it was “personal”. You need to know if your partner was on medication at the time and look for all the other signs of a manic episode. Talking to a professional could be very helpful here.

Please think carefully about this information on bipolar infidelity. AN EXPLANATION IS NOT AN EXCUSE!

However, the more you can understand how mania fuels hypersexuality, impairs judgement, and distorts the bipolar person’s underlying personality and character, the quicker you can move on.

Your only point of power is in the present, so while your partner MUST
take responsibility for their bad behavior, you MUST keep moving forward
if you are to overcome this betrayal.

Bipolar Relationships

Bipolar and Divorce

Some scary statistics

Infidelity

Like almost everything else to do with mental health, cheating by manic-depressives has not been scientifically studied anywhere nearly enough. However, there is some research.
A 1975 study that looked at lifetime sexual experience found extramarital sexual experiences to be more frequent amongst bipolar people – 29% had had 10 or more experiences.

According to figures quoted by Goodwin and Jamison, hypersexuality was reported in 57% of manic individuals, based on averages across seven studies, with a range of values from 25% to 80%!

And remember, “sexual indiscretions” is such a significant marker of bipolar illness that it is included in the DSM-IV’s diagnostic criteria.

Protecting yourself

It is not a good idea to persist in a relationship with a bipolar spouse who will not actively seek treatment, comply with their medication regime, and work at getting and staying well.

If sexual promiscuity has been part of their manic behavior, consider using a condom to protect yourself from STDs, at least until you are sure your bipolar partner is stable, and get tested for STDs, including HIV/AIDS.

Also keep an eye on joint finances and consider how to restrict your partner’s access to money, and also how to avoid liability for any debts they incur – it is not uncommon for someone on a manic spree of bipolar hypersexuality to destroy their finances in order to have sex.

Every day remind yourself:

– the infidelity was not my fault

– the infidelity resulted from my partner’s bipolar mania – they made a terrible choice fueled by hypersexuality, impulsiveness and impaired decision making ability

– you are loveable, desirable and deserve better – your partner MUST actively work at avoiding further manic episodes for you to even consider a second chance

– you have options and can make decisions in your own best interests and those of your children

– you can heal from this as an individual. Given the right attitude and treatment, it may also be possible for your partner to heal, and to heal your relationship.

Cheating on a bipolar partner

Bipolar infidelity cuts both ways. Sometimes it is not the bipolar partner who strays. Being in a relationship with a bipolar person can create some difficult circumstances that may promote infidelity.

For example, some medications cause weight gain and loss of libido. This can be difficult for the other person who finds themselves in a relationship with a bipolar partner who is disinterested in sex and different physically to the person they were first attracted to. Also, if a bipolar person is having a depressive episode, they may have little desire to make love and may be emotionally withdrawn or unavailable.

This can be very isolating and make the partner of a bipolar person feel rejected, angry, frustrated – all the negative emotions that so often trigger infidelity.

Therapy is essential

Regardless of which partner is cheating (or tempted to cheat), or which has bipolar, GO TOGETHER to therapy.

My personal perspective is that therapy and counseling are essential, either after the bipolar infidelity, or when a manic episode begins to develop. It is important to go together, and to see a therapist who is experienced in bipolar disorder. One of the terrible ironies of my own manic meltdown was that I was in therapy at the time! I even told my psychologist about my cybersex addiction. Unfortunately I was seeing someone who did not have the skills and knowledge to recognize bipolar. Couples counseling with an experienced professional could have saved my relationship, so PLEASE do this for yourself.

Bipolar infidelity and the Internet

The Internet does not, in itself, cause bipolar infidelity, but wow – it sure can fan the flames! I know because this was my own downfall. If a bipolar person looks like they are becoming manic, it is a very good idea to move fast to restrict or monitor their access to the Internet.

In particular be aware of the following – chat rooms and typical internet dating sites may look different – especially if the chat room is for bipolar support – but both can harbor folks who are looking for sexual connections. If your loved one is spending a lot of time in ANY kind of chat room, you need to know what is going on. If they appear defensive or secretive you need to talk – of course they may be getting much needed support and are entitled to privacy and space, but hanging out in any potential pick-up joint is a recipe for disaster when mania is brewing. Also learn about bipolar sleep as insomnia and late night surfing are symptoms AND warning signs of pending mania and, by extension, possible infidelity.

Financial betrayal

credit-repair

The crazy spending sprees and irrational financial decisions that characterize bipolar mania are form of betrayal.

If you or your spouse has damaged your credit, see essential advice on Bipolar Debt. You may also want to read up on Excessive Spending and Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar treatment contracts

Restricting or monitoring Internet use, or cutting off access to finances may sound heavy handed or provocative. However, as someone who destroyed a wonderful relationship through my own bipolar infidelity, I believe these actions can be necessary, constructive and loving.

One way to handle these delicate issues is through a bipolar treatment contract. The folks at Real Mental Health provide excellent information about bipolar treatment contracts and a free downloadable sample contract.

A bipolar treatment contract is an agreement a bipolar person makes with their loved ones at a time when they are well, to handle the difficulties that may arise if the bipolar person becomes unwell.

(You can read more about treatment contracts and other practical tools in The Bipolar Toolkit, available from the Bipolar resources page.)

Bipolar infidelity is such a huge, complex and painful topic. It is impossible to cover it properly in a webpage, so I am currently writing an e-Book about it. It will much more detailed, and provide practical, concrete tools for dealing with the before, during and aftermath of bipolar infidelity – for both parties. Please visit regularly. I am hoping to have it ready soon.

My first book, The Bipolar Diet, was published a few years ago and is doing great:


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Discover the secrets
of mood, food & weight
2017-07-12T13:28:44+00:00 October 22nd, 2014|Categories: Relationships|26 Comments

26 Comments

  1. Lisa January 25, 2016 at 5:45 am - Reply

    Thank you for this info it’s such a relief to read this. My partner has bipolar and yes it’s affecting our relationship. He is classic hypersexual, infidelity, lying and I’m at my wits end. He’s 45yo and only diagnosed in May 2015 after a psychotic break and involuntary hospitalisation for 4 weeks.
    Again thank you this has helped me

  2. Aymee April 3, 2016 at 5:41 am - Reply

    When you say bipolar infidelity do you mean they cheat like one night stands or do you mean they have full blown affairs for months and months and even switch partners over time. I am 37 and my husband is 41 years old and is diagnosed bipolar with high mania and he has been for the past 14 years and he has been cheating on me for the past 8 years that i know of for 100% sure. It wasn’t a one night stand and then done like you would think in a manic fit. It was full blown affairs where he met the girls parents and stayed multilple nights with her in her home, taking her on trips, on dates, out dancing, and partying like he was a single man without a wife and two kids and he did this while lying to me and pretending he was staying with friends while he worked off away from home. He was dating the girl and even told her he loved her at one point and this particular girl he had an affair with for almost a full year. I don’t see this kind of cheating as a symptom of bipolar mania because it continued for almost a year and was getting serious between the two. Apparently the only reason it stopped is because she got tired of him leaving her for a few weeks to come back home to the kids and myself and she finally broke it off. He previously had another affair with a woman for 6 months and she moved away and that is why that relationship ended. Can you explain if this is indeed due to his bipolar or if this is just plain old cheating. He also has accused me for years and years of cheating on him and I was forced to tell him my every single move and he went through my phone and my messages, my purse, my car, and I have never ever cheated on him. He was the one cheating on me yet I was the one constantly under the gun having to prove my every step to make sure he knew I was faithful and true. I recently discovered these infidelities by accident and he has lied at every turn about everything so getting the truth out of him is almost impossible. I actually had to talk to the women to get the truth. He has promised me for years he was going to get help and go to counseling but all he does is lie and feed me empty promises. He talks about making appointments and sets them up but always has an excuse for not making them. He keeps begging me not to leave him and that he will never do it again but from what I’ve read if he isn’t seeking help then my chances of him stopping are slim to none. When he was busted he just turned around and went out to bars and lied to me some more saying that he was so upset about hurting me he couldn’t get out of his room most nights which was all a lie. He wasn’t having a problem getting out of his room he was going out drinking partying going to bars all over again while I was home dealing with his affairs and the ending of our marriage aND the kids and our life. I’ve been married to him for 16 years and stayed with him when we discovered he was bipolar but I just can’t deal with infidelity like this. It wasn’t a one night stand done out of a bipolar fit..this was calculated and deliberately orchestrated. What I can’t understand is if this is bipolar then why not just let the spouse out..why keep me beat down and trapped in a marriage he obviously didn’t want. If he wanted to be single all he had to do was leave me.

  3. Justin April 10, 2016 at 12:22 pm - Reply

    Amazing article. Well done. I have BP stage 1 and my partner told me to give this a read and boy does it ever put my illness into perspective, after what has gone on with us since I was diagnosed in February 2015. Thank You.

  4. Jason April 21, 2016 at 9:27 pm - Reply

    My wife is bipolar, but went off her meds almost a year ago. Her infidelity seemed to come from a depressive state, not manic. Now she says she feels nothing: no guilt, not bad, not good. This came on the heels of consecutive miscarriages and me losing my job (our only income). Is this the bipolar or something more? I appreciate any help you can offer!

  5. Mary May 27, 2016 at 8:56 pm - Reply

    Thank you. This explains alot of what he told me happened in his past marrige. Recently i cought him talking to a worker. They both told me that nothing happened, but he did admit to being attracted to her because she also was bipolar and understood what he was going through and he never had that before. He told me he loved the fact i tried to understand but that i could not know because i have not experienced it. He said was done talking to her because he loved me and wanted to be with me. But he also admitted to briefly having the thought of being in a relationship with her but knowing it would never work. I don’t know if this falls under the same category or if something else is going on.

  6. Sarah June 5, 2016 at 4:11 pm - Reply

    Hello, I am recently diagnosed Bipolar Type 2 and I have struggled with bipolar infidelity ever since I was 18. I just couldn’t stop having sex with random people, many of whom I didn’t find attractive. I thought I was just going through my young years of hooking up. I was wrong. When I entered my first relationship, I cheated. I did it with a smoker. How gross! I was honest and told my boyfriend. We broke up after because of that .

    Then, I entered another relationship and things were fine for about 3 months. And then I lost control and cheated again. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I figured it was just personal and a sign that he wasn’t my type. So I broke up with him.

    Next, I entered a relationship with a really cute and caring guy. Again, about 3 months into it, I cheated. It was very frustrating. I broke up with him.

    At this point, when friends asked me how many guys I’ve been with, I couldn’t give an honest answer. Should only be 3, right? I really wanted it to be 3. But it wasn’t it was over 100. I lost track. And so many of them were unwanted. I really just couldn’t control it.

    When I graduated, I figured it was a sexual addiction. I chose to stay single to work on it. So I started taking steps to end that. But then I noticed that my sexual behavior was getting riskier. I was scared a few times of an STD.

    But then I met a really great guy, who I am now with. I am worried because I am getting the urges again, and I really don’t want them. He knows I have Bipolar and we’re still in the relationship. I started taking a mood stabilizer from a psychiatrist, but I’m worried it’s not helping with the hypersexuality. I don’t want this! So I made some appointments with a counselor to talk about everything. I really don’t want another relationship to end because I chose to cheat during a manic episode (although honestly it feels like I have no choice).

  7. Lynn July 11, 2016 at 1:51 am - Reply

    I am so glad I came across this article. It explains him to the detail. I only wish he would recognize he has a problem and get help. But I know he won’t. It kills me to go through the fighting and deal with his lies, secrets and cheating. And then try and turn it around on me. I wish their was some kind of medication or hypnosis or something to help him.

  8. A. July 31, 2016 at 8:18 pm - Reply

    Thank you. I knew my fiance has bipolar issues. I don’t want to say is bipolar, he’s so much more. But we are getting married, very soon, and I just found out he cheated on me in his last big episode. I never thought to relate it to the bipolar issue, but it is very helpful reading your article and putting it together. I can’t thank you enough.

  9. Nicole August 9, 2016 at 2:17 am - Reply

    My husband swears he doesn’t remember meeting an escort. It hurts like hell. Thank you for writing this. We are going to seek counseling.

  10. Sara August 17, 2016 at 11:31 am - Reply

    Thank you for this. I have denied my bipolar diagnosis and refused medication. I have been “fine” for years and suddenly I felt different one day and it felt great and then the cheating… And the aftermath? I was ashamed and disgusted with myself. I had no excuse no reason why and that made me feel terrible. I still feel like somehow it’s a cop out to bien on bipolar but I know it’s true I know I would never do anything like that if I was well. I never thought or wanted to do anything like that and I had no reason for doing that. I remember wanting friends wanting life after being depressed so long and then I spiraled out of control away from reality and even the understanding of what I was doing.

  11. Danielle August 25, 2016 at 1:24 pm - Reply

    I am going through the mania with my spouse now. We have been together for years on and off. I know her when she is actively treating her bipolar and not. I have taken the time to get educated on her illness and have met with her psychiatrist. During this mania cycle, she seeks attention from other women from her past. There is one woman she reaches out to and tries to meet up with. I caught her this time and she admitted it. She has never admitted it in the past. She uasually gets mad, leaves and sticks to her lies. So that is progress, she has never been truthful with me. She says she doesn’t know why she does this and can’t explain it. I believe her. The only time this happens is at the mania stage. I am doing my best to be a loving and understanding partner right now, but I am hurting to no end on the inside. I feel like my feelings are obsolete and hers are the only ones that matter. She said she will talk to her psychiatrist about this most recent incident. Thats all fine and well, but what do we do in 6 months when it’s mania again?

  12. shane September 6, 2016 at 11:23 pm - Reply

    i have been dealing with my bipolar 1 wife for 12 years now and i am at the very end of holding on she just recently started getting help but i feel the damage is done and i dont know if i could find trust for her ever again i love her more than anything and want her to be healthy but im at the point were it doesn’t include me being there to see it through and i hate that thats the way it is. is their any reason why i should hold on even if it means getting hurt continuously

  13. Marianna November 12, 2016 at 3:04 pm - Reply

    Hi I dated a guy that’s bipolar he kept beging for another chance he broke me down and my kids he made me bad by people I had a call from my son school that my son has been molested by him this man destroyed us

  14. R. December 12, 2016 at 1:15 am - Reply

    My spouse has cheated and is bipolar. He was not on his medication. However, I struggle to decide whether the cheating can be blamed on his condition and how much control he had. Why aren’t bipolar people hypersexual with their spouses? Why cheat? And it occurred during a period of a few weeks where he appeared normal to me. How can someone with such supposedly impaired judgment not appear obviously irrational to his family? Thanks.

  15. erika January 6, 2017 at 3:14 pm - Reply

    My Husband was diagnosed w/ Bipolar in early 2016 however did not manage it well. He was “experimenting” w/ his medication and went into a manic period where he lied about expenses and also had an affair. We are currently separated and I am trying to decide what is best. Women have ALWAYS been an issue and it makes sense w/ his diagnosis as it was always in patterns, things would be great for about 6 mo. but i could just FEEL an issue waiting to happen. We are currently waiting for our counselling appt. to start but I dont even know if i want to talk about our relationship and just focus on how to navigate divorce w/ 3 kids. are there any resources out there than someone can direct me to to get more info on being on this side of everything
    ?

  16. Amber February 25, 2017 at 2:09 am - Reply

    My husband is bipolar. I intercepted part of a phone call, it was very upsetting. My husband swears up and down that he doesn’t remember the call or what it was about. He has since told me that he isn’t talking to anyone or doing anything with anybody. Looks me in the eye and tells me he loves me and could never do that to me. i have recordings of him on the phone with someone…the calls don’t show up on the cell phone bill. Then I have recordings of someone coming into the house….while I’m at work. Again, swears up and down that he isn’t cheating on me. I am not sure what to make of that or what to do at this point. Is it a bipolar symptom to not remember???? Or is he just a liar and a cheater??

    • Bipolar Lives Staff February 28, 2017 at 1:48 pm - Reply

      Hey Amber,
      I would encourage you to check with a marriage professional regarding your husband. Best of luck!
      Sarah

  17. K February 28, 2017 at 3:54 pm - Reply

    2 years ago, I found out my wife had sex with 8 different men over the period of 15 months. she was diagnosed w ADHD 5 months after disclosure.

    I spend lots of time on infidelity forums online , but ive yet to read any story that comes close to mine. the only story that ive read that is similar deals w a wife who was suffering from Bipolar Hyperexuality. we have been to many different individual therapists, and a marriage counselor. two therapists have told us that my wife is “not a sex addict, because she doesn’t fit the profile, and that she is not bipolar, not borderline, nor a sociopath”.

    thing is, no story I have read regarding serial cheating, multiple affairs, types of affairs, etc….fits our story.
    the only stories I have read that really fit, are those that deal w bipolar hypersexuality

  18. Jean McCleland March 2, 2017 at 11:43 am - Reply

    Tired:

    They can look you in the eye and say nothing happened, they are lying! I caught mine at a motel room, he left the room and told me there was no one in the room. Even after I told him I saw the house keeper trying to get into the room and the door was locked from inside. He said I never saw that. That is how they are.

  19. Sylvie March 5, 2017 at 3:06 pm - Reply

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and he has been cheating many a time during this period of time! However he wasn’t diagnosed bipolar until last year. So since then he takes his medication, he is stable and he has not cheated up until 3 weeks ago… As you all imagine here this is a tough period for me and I am choosing to end this relation. I do not understand why the cheating is happening under medication (although he has decided to stop abruptly depakote). Is there any comments from anyone who had face cheating even when the ill partner was under medication? Thanks!

  20. Concerned March 18, 2017 at 6:10 pm - Reply

    Yes check to see if this is the right medication for the one you love and also check to see if the dosage is what he needs. He also might want to check if he is misdiagnosed.

  21. Norma J Thayer March 22, 2017 at 8:02 am - Reply

    Is it normal to be kept a secret in a bipolar relationship? I am a widow of his late best friend and the excuse is he doesn’t want the guys at work to know we are seeing each other, plus I am a good bit older than he is. This has been going on for a year now and it’s like being in a rut. I have never been introduced to any of his family or friends. We live 3 hrs apart and 150 miles and I am in one state and him in another….. I feel this is the way my late husband wanted it to be and for him to look after me and be here for me, but I also don’t think my husband knew he was bipolar either…. I feel stuck in a rut like this is going nowhere. I also spoil, buy and do for him, with not a whole lot in return…. Plus I am seeing gambling coming into the picture. From betting on ballgames to playing poker and wanting to go to the casino. Is this a common factor of a bipolar relationship.

  22. Angelina April 17, 2017 at 4:56 am - Reply

    Hello,

    I’ve been recently diagnosed with bipolar type 2 before this diagnosis I was diagnosed with ADHD although I actually still have ADHD that needs to be treated after the bipolar is.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have cheated but that’s with different people, usually I do this when I cannot handle the relationship anymore and I automatically feel like I have given rights in my head to do what ever I want, because what does it matter to other person I am with. At one stage at I would start to see someone in a more serious type of thing kind of like a relationship but heading that way, anyways I was seeing a female and a male and sleeping with the female and seeing the male at the same time, Ill be honest It was exhilarating but the male was very soft hearted and a very nice person, it’s terrible that I had done such things and to be honest I can give you a million reasons but until now I realised there’s always been a serious problem. It’s almost like I’m dealing with something that’s not myself and I do my head in about it because I know i physically done these things how can I not blame myself, and I have controlled myself a lot more in the past with other things I’ve wanted to do in the moment, I rationally knew that I would hurt people I love dearly but just because I am saying this and I have bipolar that doesn’t mean I have done an array of things that were unhealthy and things I’ve done that felt great but were not good at all. I’ve hurt people I love and “what the heck am I meant to say” ? Sorry I did it because I have bipolar? That’s ridiculous to to say the least for someone that doesn’t havent this mental issue, I mean they could try and understand but the damage is damn well done already. Sometimes I feel hopeless and want to be alone after the things I’ve done, I have felt depressed and felt like I have no meaning to my life and fell horrible and want to take myself out. But deep in my heart the things I have done feel like me but at the same time they feel not like something I would do, it’s so confusing, and ever since I found out I have bipolar it makes sense but at the same time it doesn’t, sometimes it feels like it’s nothing and this is all me and my doings because how can it NOT FOR GODS SAKE, how can I blame it on the bipolar. Anyways so back to cheating, the first man I fell inlove with I was seeing another man at the same time at the beginning of the relationship with the first man I fell inlove with, I thought I would see what would happen and if the initial one would be ok and then the other one was not my type of person anymore, I was young although still I thought this was completely ok. Along my journey i too came across people with mental issues that I have had sex with and I was very close with them and let some of them cheat me and hurt me and then I turned against them, I clearly attracted my crowed but anyways mental or not there is still That part within you which is either evil or placid and I’m a placid type of person with f$&#ed up mental issues and it’s fine because I won’t let it define who I am. And you know what any person that’s doing these cheating things like I can’t say much because this hypersexualality is something that I have experienced many times but that’s doesn’t mean you all deserve to be cheated on because of a bipolar symptom. I done this same thing again to someone I am inlove with I didn’t fully sleep with this guy but like I drove off with him and snuck out and saw him a couple of times when I was overseas with my fiancé at the time and our mothers anyways I felt like a change of the dark gloomy cloud that had been hovering over me and my relationship for some time, it was fun on a bike for a short time plus a few emotional spiritual talks and then this guy wanted more well it could’ve happened and it couldn’t have but I did not have sex with this guy, we hugged and he tried to do more with me but I stopped him. Now the way I wasn’t feeling was confused like why didn’t I usually do what I wouldn’t normally do I’m not sure and I’ll put it down to the fact that I was and still in love with this person, I feel called off from my own emotions sometimes so it’s hard to talk about it with a straight forward answer, I walked away from this relationship and never spoke to this love of my life and went through manic episodes, delusions, this grandiose behaviour and all that and then I contacted her after 5 months and she still is confused as to why I contacted her, I said so many things about her I saw things about her that clearly were true for me and then they weren’t true after. BIPOLAR HAS STUFFED UP MY LIFE AND IM STILL STRUGGLING.

  23. S. April 23, 2017 at 8:25 am - Reply

    My wife is diagnosed as Bi-polar. I had suspected it for many years but only found out about it 18 months ago after she was involved in a MVA and was seeing doctors related to a severe concussion. She has severe mania almost on a daily basis, making it impossible to what person I will be talking to next. She is on the standard medication but her behaviors have not changed. She refuses to seek therapy and has destroyed trust from everyone she comes into contact with, including her children. She seeks and destroys other people, lies constantly, and has been physically abusive to me and others. Since our separation, I have been reading a lot about this mental disease and find that she also meets the profile for Borderline Personality Disorder. I have now discovered many truths about her past by talking with her first and second husband. Lies, Rage, False Accusations, Financial Ruin through frivolous spending, and Hypersexuality (Cheating), Grandiosity, are the norm. I’ve found, looking back, that she projects everything that SHE is doing wrong into what OTHERS are doing wrong. She thinks everyone is out to get her and is paranoid much of the time. I know that she will likely never have a good life, and I’m sad about that. Within 3 months of our separation, she is sleeping with another man, a total stranger. My only option now is to let her go and get on with my life so I can be a good father, friend, and companion to those in my life that truly care about me and love me.

  24. Tammy Woolard June 3, 2017 at 1:37 pm - Reply

    I am in a “relationship” with a bipolar man. Have known him for 40 years. Thought he was the answer to my prayers, so sweet and loving. Four months in he drops me for ‘the love of his life”. In a days time went from I love you so much to I never loved you. Then he starts seeing his ex-wife, telling her he wants to get back together, while also seeing this other woman. I still am involved but unlike the others I am fully aware of what he is doing. My late father in law, sister in law and several other family members all had bipolar, and I recognized the symptoms immediately. I have recently found out that the “love of his life” is very likely a delusional relationship. She considers him a friend, he is convinced there is more to it. When we first started dating, he was adamant that he take his medicine. Lithium had saved his life and he wasn’t going to be like others that played around with his medication. Well he has told he he has cut his dose in half due to hand tremors, but not on his doctors orders. His lithium numbers are only at 3, I know this is to low to be therapeutic. He even stopped going to the dr. due to the doctor wanting to increase his dose, but has since gone back. He honestly thinks he is fooling his doctor and feels that he is so wonderful that we should all be happy just to be with him. I wish I didn’t but I love the guy. Am I right in being concerned that he is playing with his health? There are days he will admit that he can tell he is alittle off. I don’t want to see him suffer, he has been committed twice. You think he would make sure his meds were correct

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